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Friday, May 6, 2011

Mother's Day

We will arrive in Mtwara on mother's day. Mtwara is in the south of Tanzania, right on the Indian Ocean; beautiful but poor.

When I was little I made my Mother's day cards every year; her birthday was right around the same time of year so we could get away with only giving one gift or card some years. In healthy families Mothers day is kind of a fun day, where the kids play lip service to their appreciation for the mom, but everyone knows that the mom is appreciated every day. It is the thought that counts, but not such a huge deal. I know my boys love me and think of me - even if they can be a little self-centered sometimes.

But now that Joseph is gone, I am dreading Mother's day, especially since we'll be visiting Tanzania. Last year I was still in a fog of losing him; I still woke up thinking "Joseph is dead" and then thinking "No,no that is not possible". This year the reality has set in. Never to hear his silly laugh, or his deep voice or his reasoned thoughts again. I still wake up in the middle of the night yelling for him to be careful.

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