3375408
Good Afternoon,
My name is Charles Beale and it was my absolute privilege to be Joe chow’s friend. Upon hearing about his death, I immediately replied with 3 words, the first I cannot say in churh, the second is bull and the third I can not say.
I could stand here all day and tell you that he was one hell of man. I could go little by little telling of the loyalty of his friendship and the love he shared with everyone. I could mention, he was a starry eyed kid, with a passion to know. He wasn’t much of a risk taker, then again, he spent his last days on earth teaching people half way around the world who were less fortunate then everyone in this room, teaching chemistry, math, and physics. To do that he had to leave behind everything and go on the last adventure of his life. I will not attempt to address the rumors that in Africa he became an expert spear fisherman or that he spent time in markets bargaining for owls. And the selflessness of the last two year of his life are something I know little about, separated by too many miles and too much time.
But I will say we like people for what they are good at and we love them for their flaws. So I will tell of some things that I loved joe for.
The first is fairly simple, he wasn’t a good troublemaker. For one simple reason, a good trouble maker upon narrowly escaping, being caught by the police for having some 40 illegally obtained election signs in the back seat of a car, illegal possession alcohol, while his friend is driving at about one in the morning with a license that only allows him to drive till 9. A good trouble maker, does not under any circumstance tells his Mom of the actions that had transpired the night before no matter how entertaining the story. But that was just how joe was. He was honest and pure. He was always at first reluctant to partake in the a crazy scheme but once he a succumbed to peer pressure , he would then think of way to make the scheme better and more thought out.
He wasn’t a bad singer, but he wasn’t a loud enough singer … One time we found ourselves serenading the girls on Sarah Lawrence campus to only be chased away by a campus van. Later to be accused of some bogus claim of sexual harassment and trespassing. I to this day attribute us getting in trouble because he voice was drowned out by jp’s and mine. He wasn’t the all time great, ladies man, but he did know that in no way would this help us with the ladies. ( I spoke briefly hear how I would make him reluctantly take his shirt off to show off to the ladies)
He was a pretty good swimmer; however that same level of athleticism was lost in other sports. (His method in shooting hoops was based on the law of averages. If you keep shooting you are bound to make one in.) If I were to tell you that our annual game of tackle football that Joe Chow was a force to be reckoned with, I would be telling you a blatant lie. At 5’7, 145 pounds soaking wet, it would be a little difficult. And Our version of tackle football is nothing like seen on television. Joe Chow’s method of tackling someone was pretty simple, jump on the opposing player and hope they get tired of running with a 145 pound weight on their back and just fall. But he played with everything he had like he did with everything in life. He wanted to win but never let that ruin the fun of the game.
He had a manner of standing, like an exhausted pregnant woman. ( Here I showed them how he did it) Almost as if he could not carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Here are a few more things about Joe. He was an excellent piano player, an excellent ping pong player, he has kill count in halo in the millions against me, and he has taken enough money off me in poker to buy himself an owl.
I once traveled to Greece with Joe. He laughed that I really had no idea the difference between the Parthenon and the Panthenon. I still don’t.
He was however an excellent friend. Upon hearing of my father’s death, rumor has it he walked some 20 miles in an attempt to call me. It was a shame that he got my phone number off facebook. The number I had posted on facebook was The new york rejection hotline, but he thought he got my voice mail so he made the walk twice before he realized. I imagined that he kinda whispered under his breath like he sometimes did when he had been dooped , “ son of a bitch.”
I will forever cherish his friendship. He was always willing to listen or lend the helping hand, or quickly tell me how stupid an idea might be.
And his leaving kinda puts us in a rough spot. I am left to wonder the possibilities of what was yet to come in Joe Chow’s life, but in knowing the possibilities, we must fill the void he left and that is what scares me the most. The world could use a few more Joe Chows. I miss my friend.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Uncle Paul eulogy
The life of Joseph Lawrence Chow was a beautiful life and “a life well lived”.
The last time I saw Joseph was two years ago almost to the day. Joe had developed an interest in golf, so I bribed him with a round of golf to squeeze myself onto his schedule. The golf was not memorable but our conversation was. Joe had just graduated from Amherst College and he was leaving soon to join the Peace Corp in East Africa. We had time to discuss many things but we spent most of our time talking about the Peace Corp. He shared with me how much he would miss his family and friends, but he was thrilled to have the chance to immerse himself in a completely different culture. He thought he would love teaching and could be a good teacher. He mentioned that there’d be no golf and probably no piano, so he’d spend his spare time reading and there’d be plenty of opportunity for music and golf when he returned home. Joe admitted that while he was very excited and absolutely committed, he was also nervous because he knew that this would be more difficult than anything he had ever done before.
He was a happy, confident young man, full of purpose, comfortable in his own skin and optimistic about the future. Had I not known and loved Joseph his entire life as his uncle, I know I would have loved and admired him as a friend. I remember feeling very proud of him as I watched him bound up the stairs of the Greenwich train station two steps at a time when I dropped him off that evening.
As many of you know, Joseph was a high academic achiever and he was an accomplished pianist and organist. In any group of people Joseph might be among the smartest or the most musically talented. Both as a scholar and a musician Joe was very driven to excel, determined to achieve the highest grades and board scores or play the most technically difficult music. But that was only one dimension of Joseph. He was able to be passionate even when he did not personally excel. Swimming was an important part of Joe’s life. He was a serious and good swimmer but rarely the star. In fact, as a varsity swimmer at Amherst he was probably among the slowest on the team, but that was okay because for Joseph swimming was always more about the shared experience and camaraderie of being on the team than about winning and losing or individual achievement.
Chances are that Joseph might not have become the remarkable young man he became without many of you who have gathered in this church to honor and remember him today. You see, Joseph had a big advantage in life- he never had to wonder if he was loved. In fact, you could say that his life was a love story. Not a “boy meets girl” love story, but a love story about someone who is loved by many from the moment he is born. His anchor and greatest source of love was his family- his parents, Donna & Ray; his brothers, Daniel and Kyle; his grandparents Ruby, Leo, Joe & Larry; and his many Chow & Robertson uncles, aunts and cousins. But as Ray and Donna have said so often, Joseph was blessed to also be loved by so many wonderful people beyond his own family- teachers, coaches & mentors; colleagues, classmates & teammates; friends and neighbors- who touched and inspired him; nurtured, supported and encouraged him throughout his life.
Because so much had been given to him by so many, it was second nature to Joseph to give to others. Always kind, compassionate and generous, he used his own gifts and talents to give- by playing piano for terminally ill patients at hospice or coaching young aspiring swimmers or teaching math and science in East Africa.
Joseph spent the last two years of his life giving back as a Peace Corp volunteer. By all accounts he was an extraordinary teacher who was loved and valued by his students and his community. Watching the recording of the memorial service held for Joe in Tanzania it was clear that during the past two years Joseph had continued to go from strength to strength in his life. On the last full day of his life, Joseph was with a fellow Peace Corp volunteer. Since she was a recent arrival in Tanzania, he was anxious for her to know how rich and rewarding his Peace Corp experience had been but he also wanted to tell her how wonderful his family was, how excited he was about going home and how he was planning to go to medical school. When Ray shared this with me, I couldn’t help being reminded of my conversation with Joe two years ago and I took some comfort knowing Joe was still brimming with the excitement and optimism that I remembered so clearly.
Joseph leaving us so suddenly, so young is unbearably sad. I don’t know that any of us will ever be able to understand why Joseph was taken. Some things are impossible to explain, impossible to reconcile. There will always be an emptiness, a hole that can’t be filled, reminders of what could have been and should have been. But I hope that in this time of terrible grief, all of Joseph’s family and friends [particularly Donna, Ray, Daniel and Kyle] who loved him so much can take some solace and someday even rejoice that Joseph was a beautiful person who lived a happy and deeply meaningful life.
As has been said, “If you can’t have both, a good life is better than a long life”… Joseph Chow’s life was a good life, a life well lived.
The last time I saw Joseph was two years ago almost to the day. Joe had developed an interest in golf, so I bribed him with a round of golf to squeeze myself onto his schedule. The golf was not memorable but our conversation was. Joe had just graduated from Amherst College and he was leaving soon to join the Peace Corp in East Africa. We had time to discuss many things but we spent most of our time talking about the Peace Corp. He shared with me how much he would miss his family and friends, but he was thrilled to have the chance to immerse himself in a completely different culture. He thought he would love teaching and could be a good teacher. He mentioned that there’d be no golf and probably no piano, so he’d spend his spare time reading and there’d be plenty of opportunity for music and golf when he returned home. Joe admitted that while he was very excited and absolutely committed, he was also nervous because he knew that this would be more difficult than anything he had ever done before.
He was a happy, confident young man, full of purpose, comfortable in his own skin and optimistic about the future. Had I not known and loved Joseph his entire life as his uncle, I know I would have loved and admired him as a friend. I remember feeling very proud of him as I watched him bound up the stairs of the Greenwich train station two steps at a time when I dropped him off that evening.
As many of you know, Joseph was a high academic achiever and he was an accomplished pianist and organist. In any group of people Joseph might be among the smartest or the most musically talented. Both as a scholar and a musician Joe was very driven to excel, determined to achieve the highest grades and board scores or play the most technically difficult music. But that was only one dimension of Joseph. He was able to be passionate even when he did not personally excel. Swimming was an important part of Joe’s life. He was a serious and good swimmer but rarely the star. In fact, as a varsity swimmer at Amherst he was probably among the slowest on the team, but that was okay because for Joseph swimming was always more about the shared experience and camaraderie of being on the team than about winning and losing or individual achievement.
Chances are that Joseph might not have become the remarkable young man he became without many of you who have gathered in this church to honor and remember him today. You see, Joseph had a big advantage in life- he never had to wonder if he was loved. In fact, you could say that his life was a love story. Not a “boy meets girl” love story, but a love story about someone who is loved by many from the moment he is born. His anchor and greatest source of love was his family- his parents, Donna & Ray; his brothers, Daniel and Kyle; his grandparents Ruby, Leo, Joe & Larry; and his many Chow & Robertson uncles, aunts and cousins. But as Ray and Donna have said so often, Joseph was blessed to also be loved by so many wonderful people beyond his own family- teachers, coaches & mentors; colleagues, classmates & teammates; friends and neighbors- who touched and inspired him; nurtured, supported and encouraged him throughout his life.
Because so much had been given to him by so many, it was second nature to Joseph to give to others. Always kind, compassionate and generous, he used his own gifts and talents to give- by playing piano for terminally ill patients at hospice or coaching young aspiring swimmers or teaching math and science in East Africa.
Joseph spent the last two years of his life giving back as a Peace Corp volunteer. By all accounts he was an extraordinary teacher who was loved and valued by his students and his community. Watching the recording of the memorial service held for Joe in Tanzania it was clear that during the past two years Joseph had continued to go from strength to strength in his life. On the last full day of his life, Joseph was with a fellow Peace Corp volunteer. Since she was a recent arrival in Tanzania, he was anxious for her to know how rich and rewarding his Peace Corp experience had been but he also wanted to tell her how wonderful his family was, how excited he was about going home and how he was planning to go to medical school. When Ray shared this with me, I couldn’t help being reminded of my conversation with Joe two years ago and I took some comfort knowing Joe was still brimming with the excitement and optimism that I remembered so clearly.
Joseph leaving us so suddenly, so young is unbearably sad. I don’t know that any of us will ever be able to understand why Joseph was taken. Some things are impossible to explain, impossible to reconcile. There will always be an emptiness, a hole that can’t be filled, reminders of what could have been and should have been. But I hope that in this time of terrible grief, all of Joseph’s family and friends [particularly Donna, Ray, Daniel and Kyle] who loved him so much can take some solace and someday even rejoice that Joseph was a beautiful person who lived a happy and deeply meaningful life.
As has been said, “If you can’t have both, a good life is better than a long life”… Joseph Chow’s life was a good life, a life well lived.
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