Mother's Day

We will arrive in Mtwara on mother's day. Mtwara is in the south of Tanzania, right on the Indian Ocean; beautiful but poor.

When I was little I made my Mother's day cards every year; her birthday was right around the same time of year so we could get away with only giving one gift or card some years. In healthy families Mothers day is kind of a fun day, where the kids play lip service to their appreciation for the mom, but everyone knows that the mom is appreciated every day. It is the thought that counts, but not such a huge deal. I know my boys love me and think of me - even if they can be a little self-centered sometimes.

But now that Joseph is gone, I am dreading Mother's day, especially since we'll be visiting Tanzania. Last year I was still in a fog of losing him; I still woke up thinking "Joseph is dead" and then thinking "No,no that is not possible". This year the reality has set in. Never to hear his silly laugh, or his deep voice or his reasoned thoughts again. I still wake up in the middle of the night yelling for him to be careful.

Trip to Tanzania

Tomorrow I leave for Europe, for work; and then I will meet Ray in London on Saturday for the trip to Tanzania. I feel bad because Ray has never wanted to go back to Africa to see where Joseph died, but I feel, deep down that I have to make my pilgramage. He was my oldest boy, I cannot let his passing go without my visit to the spot where he last lived. He was my boy.

Ray is coming with me, kind of against his will, but he is coming. Saturday we went biking on the North County Bike Trail (which is falling apart, many potholes and frost heaves), and Ray fell off his bike. He broke his helmet and a rib; he is in pain. So many accidents; in some you break your ribs in others you lose your life. Who decides these things?

JOSEPH WE WILL REMEMBER YOU: a call and response poem

At the rising of the sun and at its going down,

We remember you.

At the blowing of the wind and the chill of winter,

We remember you.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring,

We remember you.

At the beginning of the year and at its end,

We remember you.

When we are weary and in need of strength,

We remember you.

When we have a joy we crave to share,

We remember you.

When we have decisions that are difficult to make,

We remember you.

When we have achievements,

We remember you.

As long as we live, you too will live

We remember you.

Praying Mantis Pose on the Serengeti

Myra and her family went to Kenya and Tanzania about a year before we went - it is a great family trip if you can afford it. Amazingly, Joseph and Myra both decided to do the praying mantis pose in the Serengeti. As Myra says: "I know it does not mean anything to all of you except Joseph and I like to pose in weird positions .... but it speaks to me in some way that Joseph and I are both doing some weird praying mantis position in the middle of the Serengti"

These photos will be in the time capsule.

Bicycling

Ray and I bought 10 speed Fuji bikes in 1982 in New York. I think they cost $250 a piece at the time,and they were top line. We rode them all over the city for the three years before Joseph was born. In fact, when Ray graduated from medical school our big trip was a 250 mile trip through northern westchester, putnam and conneticut on the bikes. We stayed in the cheapest hotels, and bbqd our dinners. It was alot of fun, but I had sore legs for weeks afterwards - there are some very steep hills in westchester, putnam and conneticut!

When Joe was 12 Christine and Ric told us about the first bike ride across the Tappan Zee bridge. I can't remember why I got to go with them, but I signed Joe and I up. It was a relatively short trip, but very beautiful, across the bridge. And we raised some money for a charitable organization, it was our first long bike trip.

Today is the 5 boro bike tour in NY. After the first trip across the Tappan Zee, Ray took Daniel and Joe on the 40 mile bike tours. For the next five or six years, it was an annual Chow event to go on the tour. It got easier and easier as we got to be better bikers, but still always a great way to see the city.