Passover/Easter

This week is Passover and Easter. Passover ... what a great holiday! It is about food, history, a smattering of religion, family and friends. What can get better! Since we have been involved in Edgemont we have gone to at least one seder a year. This year it was two! You get invited, hang out around a dinner table, eat the proscribed foods, drink wine and talk about life and family and values. Everyone is included, and the youngest at the table is even celebrated. The Jewish culture has it right!

The problem comes with all the memories. I remember sitting around the same table, being so proud of my children because of how well they were read; how well they understood the bible stories (ccd and Fordham, and basic love of story telling) and how much they like listening to other people around a dinner talbe. I really have great boys.

When Joseph was 17 Passover came just when he had to invite a girl to the prom. His Fordham Prep friends insisted that he have a date and they had someone in mind; Joe had someone from his swim team in mind. But it took him alot of nerve to build up the nerve to ask the girl. Finally, he had to buy the ticket, and it was Passover dinner. We went to our friends seder; and they knew that this was Joe's last night to call the girl before his friends stepped in and found him a date. We showed up for the seder, he insisted that he would call that evening before nine. Everyone sat around the dinner table looking at Joe, waiting for him to make the phone call. Then he excused himself to go upstairs where he could privately make the phone call. Then we all waited at the table .... and we waited and waited. Finally after about 45 minutes of a very slow seder the hostess went to find Joseph. He was up in the master bedroom hanging out on the bed watching t.v. He had called the girl 45 minutes beforehand, asked her to the prom, she said yes.... and there was a good movie on t.v. that he wanted to watch. What a teenager!

The American Civil War 150th anniversary

Today is the 150th anniversary of the start of the American Civil War. I heard on the news yesterday that only 17 million Americans have family that fought in the Civil War. That is about 5% of the US population, which I find amazing. Although our family is an immigrant family (and we trace one branch back to the Mayflower), we had several great-great relatives who fought in the Civil War.

My Dada was 94 when he died in 1963. One of my earliest memories is of sitting on Dada's lap, smelling the pipe smoke and feeling like all was safe in the world. Dada was Walter Bennett (http://www.konvalinka.com.benhome.htm/). His Dad was Michael Bennett, who immigrated from Ireland in the 1830's and raised a regiment for the Civil War. Michael must of been quite some guy; fell off his horse and broke his leg on the way out of Brooklyn whilst leading his regiment to war. He did eventually make it to the War.

The Robertsons also sent some of their sons to the War. None of them died, but I don't think they had happy memories of the war. The library in Leyden Massachussettes was the result of one of the boys refusing the government pension for participation in the Civil War. When the Robertson's were young men (17 - 21), they joined a regiment that ended up in Louisiana, not a happy place to be.

When Joseph left for college, I could not sleep. I was so worried about him I would wake up at 3 am and not fall back to sleep. I kept telling myself this was a ridiculous emotional reaction. When his great-great uncles and grandfathers were his age (and in the 1860's) they were off fighting battles and in the malarial swamps of Louisiana; they managed to make it home. Being sent off to Amherst College was a picnic compared to that experience. And then Joseph decided to go to Africa!

The picture is: 1. The Robertson Library in Leyden Mass. and 2. The Mbinga Library in Tanzania that has the reading room named in honor of Joseph Lawrence Chow.

It takes a village

Hynek, our last au pair, came to the US last week and stayed with us. Hynek first came to us in March of 2001, and then he stayed in the US for several years learning how to teach. He is back in the Czech Republic now teaching. Before Hynek, Oz from Germany was with us, before that was Elian from France and before that we had Julia from Sweden. They all came to the US to learn English, and stay in the states for an extended visit. The boys learned how to interact with people who were learning how to speak English (very slowly), and about different cultures, and also many useful household repairs, like breaking broken windows and repairing holes in the wall (before Mom and Dad got home!). They also got driving lessons as they got older! They were so lucky to have these great kids come and teach them for a year at a time. The house could be a little wild, but there was alot of energy and fun. The au pair experience was great for us. Before we had au pairs we had Jennifer and Christine, two neighborhood girls who loved my boys. They were our babysitters and summer helpers when the boys were little. They have kids of their own now, and we still visit and go to significant family events. They loved the boys and also brought a lot of energy and and fun to the house.

FPCV web site

http://fpcv.org/volunteers/joseph-chow/?pid=264 This is the link to the Joseph's page on the fpcv web site. The site was started in memory of Jermiah Mack as the mom said in an email to me, people search for their loved ones on the internet; and this gives everyonea place to find them. Thanks so much for this site, at least I know Joseph is still out there.

Peace Corp 50th anniverasary

This year is the 50th anniversary of the Peace Corp. Through the Chow family, we are very connected to the Peace Corp. Joe's Aunt Myra served in the Philippines 1979-81; Joe served in Tanzania and now his cousin Morgan is serving in the Philippines. I doubt very many American families have as strong a connection to the Peace Corp. Last month I heard from a fellow fpcv mom. fpcv stands for fallen peace corp volunteer. It is not something to expect, someone to die in the Peace Corp, but it happens. 279 have died in service to their country. Joseph was not toting a gun, or using hand grenades. But he was on a mission for the USA, and he believed in our country, and our value system. He truly believed in what he was doing. Education, and showing the world the humanity of the US. And we saw that he was good at doing that. His students appreciated him, and felt comfortable; and he could approach anyone in Tanzania and discuss their daily life with them. And the Tanzanians loved it. Joseph, and the Peace Corp, represent America in every village that they serve in. When Joseph's coffin was led out of the church, we got to follow. As we exited the chapel, the bells were playing the Star Spangled Banner. Now, at every political, business, sport and academic event where they play the Star Spangled Banner, I put my hand over my heart and cry.

Serenity Prayer

I found this prayer on a laminated card in my Dad's wallet when he died in 1996. I took it, and have carried it for the last 15 years. Dad was not an alcoholic (though he did like his gin on the rocks with olives and onions- the Meltini!), but I think this prayer can be a guide through so many of lifes experiences. It certainly has helped me in the last 18 months.

God grant me the Serenity

to accept the things

I cannot change,

Courage to change

the things I can,

and the Wisdom to know

the difference.

Dad always told us not to dwell on things we could not fix. Wipe yourself off and go forward. Nothing has ever been as difficult to go through, but we are going forward.

Library

Today we heard from Mbinga; the books actually made it to the library! Now Ray has the next thousand books to send to Mbinga. 2,000 books, I hope thay have space for them all!

We will be in Mbinga at the library May 13-14 and hopefully they are not overloaded with books!

Thanks to Greenville Elementary school for doing the book drive, and to my employer, Celgene Corporation, which paid (and will pay) for the transport of the books to Tanzania!