Mom's letter to the Archbishop

Archbishop Dolan did take the time to respond - still have not heard from our parish priest. If anyone would like to know what is wrong with the Catholic Church in America I think this explains alot! These men r;unning the church are, for the most part, not human; I think they may think they are god though.
***********************************************************************************

November 19, 2009


The Most Reverend Timothy M. Dolan
Archbishop of New York
Office of the Archbishop
1011 First Avenue
New York, New York 10022

Your Excellency:

I have received your correspondence of November 13, 2009 seeking my contribution to the Annual Appeal. As you probably have financial archives, you know that my family and I have been supporters of the Catholic Church in New York.

My husband and I had been active members of the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church (IHM) parish, raising three sons that attended CCD classes and received all of their sacraments there. Indeed, my great-grandparents, grandparents, parents and siblings had also been active members of the IHM community, as my great grandparents moved to Scarsdale from Brooklyn in 1927. My grandmothers and mother were PTA presidents at IHM, and my parents, brothers, sister and I all attended IHM grammar school for nine years. I was baptized, received my first Holy Communion in the chapel in the Sisters of Charity residence (my grandparents had paid for the renovation of the house in the early 1960’s), confirmed and married in the parish. My great-grandparents, grandparents and parents all had their funeral masses there. I volunteered as a teacher in the CCD program and was happy to help with any other volunteer needs of the parish. Over five generations, the Chow’s, Robertson’s, O’Brien’s, Konvalinka’s and Bennett’s were active members of the IHM parish community and generous financial contributors to the New York Archdiocese and the parish. Seven generations of my family have been active Roman Catholic New York parishioners.

My immediate family has also been very active at Rosary Hill Nursing Home, and two of my sons attended Fordham Prep in the Bronx. My oldest son, Joseph, was very active in the Roman Catholic community at Amherst College, Massachusetts. Joseph was honored for his participation in the Catholic Community at Amherst by being invited to sit with His Eminence Cardinal Joseph Zen, the bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Hong Kong at the 2007 graduation luncheon. At the luncheon the Bishop and Joseph found they shared a common ambition. Joseph had been accepted by the Peace Corp and was on his way to Kenya to teach science and math to high school students. His Excellency wanted to retire and teach students in Kenya.

Political unrest forced Joseph to spend the last two years in Tanzania teaching Physics, Chemistry and Calculus to junior college level students. Joseph knew that he had been blessed with so much, and thanks to his strong Catholic beliefs, he felt that he had a duty to give back. Joseph was an idealistic, Jesuit trained, “Man for Others”. Joseph was a scientist, a published author on several physiology papers, and was going to attend medical school. He felt that he had a good understanding of the medical science and a vocation to teach. Joseph was a classical pianist, an ancient Greek and Latin scholar, and an athlete. Unfortunately, Joseph passed away on September 22, 2009 in Tanzania (please see the enclosed press release).

The Director of the Peace Corp called us on Tuesday September 22, 2009. The next day we received a note and a Tanzanian carved cross from the rector of our local Episcopalian parish, who is a member of the Scarsdale community. The minister of the Mamaroneck Lutheran church visited sometime that week to offer words of consolation (he is the minister to a friend of mine that I have known since IHM). At least 1400 people attended Joseph’s wake, and a thousand people attended his funeral at the Fordham University Church, officiated by two of his high school teachers. A retired Maryknoll missionary (an old friend who we knew through the IHM parish) led a prayer service at the wake; at the end of the wake prayer service was led by the Dominican nuns and priest from Rosary Hill (Rosary Hill is actively supported by the IHM parish). At Joseph’s funeral a letter from the President of the United States was read and presented to us. The Senators from New York and Connecticut wrote notes as did several other ambassadors and officials. Friends, students and volunteers in other international organizations held separate services for him around the world. All had been touched by Joseph’s giving and enthusiastic service. Two scholarships in his name have received tens of thousands of dollars.

The purpose of this note is not to brag about my lost son, or to let you know about our gratitude to our local, national and international communities which have supported us through this very difficult time.

The purpose of this correspondence is to question: what happened to the clergy of IHM? We know that the parish clergy knew that Joseph died; it was reported in all of the local papers (see enclosed). Several of our friends who are still very active in the parish asked Monsignor John T. Ferry if he would visit our family; his response to one of our friends was that he was too busy, he was on his way to an anniversary of his graduating class (!?). Is there only one priest at IHM; have the clergy lost all sense of common decency? The parish secretary made a belated call to the funeral home to ask if we needed a priest to say a prayer, but the arrangements had been completed by the time we received the call. Recently I did receive a rather bizarre voice message asking if we would like to participate in the parish’s annual bereavement mass. Except for these very distant contacts, I have not received any notes of condolence from IHM parish clergy. I think the parish staff at IHM has made it very clear that we are not part of their community; although the monthly mailing asking for financial support has not stopped, and now I receive a note asking for me to further support the dioceses!

The literature reports that the loss of a child suddenly and unexpectedly in a distant land is just about the most traumatic life experience that can happen to a human being. All of our community support has been life sustaining for our family. The Episcopal Church, the Lutheran Church, several of our local Jewish synagogues, even the President of the United States has reached out to us personally. What happened to our local parish? Unfortunately, at the age of 52, my eyes have been opened to just how little the parish community means to a Roman Catholic in the Archdiocese of New York. I still consider myself Roman Catholic, although I have started attending the local Episcopal Church when I cannot get to Rosary Hill or Fordham University for mass. Your archdiocese has failed us in what should have been a most basic parish, and human, duty.

Sincerely,

Donna A. Robertson-Chow, Ph.D.

cc: Most Reverend Gerald T. Walsh, D.D. (via email) sjs@dunwoodie.edu
Monsignor John T. Ferry
Pope Benedict XVI (via email) benedictxvi@vatican.va