Every morning I have to wake up and think - My Joseph is dead. and then I have to think, I will not get an email from him today, I will not get a text message from him; a friend will not pass along a funny story, he will not call me.
This was my first born child. I held him in my arms minutes after he was born; I swore nothing bad would ever happen. I had long silly conversations, because he was a baby, and I was a first time mother. I was silly in my worries, and overwhelming in my fears. I was afraid of everything, but spent hours trying to figure out how to make sure he was not afraid. How to send him off into the world - strong and smart and gifted.
And now, it is another Christmas and there is nothing.
This was my first born child. I held him in my arms minutes after he was born; I swore nothing bad would ever happen. I had long silly conversations, because he was a baby, and I was a first time mother. I was silly in my worries, and overwhelming in my fears. I was afraid of everything, but spent hours trying to figure out how to make sure he was not afraid. How to send him off into the world - strong and smart and gifted.
And now, it is another Christmas and there is nothing.
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